my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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