My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
