I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
