just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
