fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
