Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize