You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
