im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
