Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
