"it" just moved
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
