I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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