I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize