Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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