I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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