Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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