I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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