you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
