Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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