You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
