i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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