FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
