i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
