She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
