part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
