I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
