we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
