There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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