I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
