two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
