Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Randomize
