i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
