Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Found the puke drawer
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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