Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
