she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
