With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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