Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
