p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Less talking, more tequila
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
