I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
