question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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