grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize