Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So much Jack, so little girl.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
