24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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