Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I will be naked everywhere
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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