um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
