you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
