none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
