Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
