This girl is more easily done than said...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
