what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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