My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
