Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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