i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
