What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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