so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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