I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
