ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
