yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
