We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
