the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Randomize
